Here I Am

About 10 years ago, I attended a theological symposium at my alma mater Concordia Seminary in St. Louis.

I remember feeling that as I walked among the buildings that held so much promise for me when I was student in the early 1990’s, that there was so much more ahead of me. As I walked among the buildings with fallen leaves crunching under my feet, I reminisced about the past. At first I felt a sense of loss. Ten years after graduation, was I really where I thought I would be?

This was not the first time I had walked among those buildings with a sense of loss. Two years after arriving on the campus, fresh out of college, I didn’t have much hope for the future. Classes weren’t going well and I was distracted from my studies. I was thinking of giving up becoming a pastor. I felt that I missed something along the way. My life wasn’t turning out the way I had thought it would. But my life soon changed dramatically!

Ten years later, as I walked among the buildings again, I realized my life turned out better than I had hoped it would. It is vastly different from what I thought it would be, but it is so much better that I spend very little time now thinking about how my life could have been had this happened or that not happened.

This morning, as I walked over to the church office from the parsonage, the leaves crunching beneath my feet as they did so long ago on my walk across the campus of Concordia Seminary, I found myself dreaming again. It has been 27 years since I first arrived at seminary. During the seven years I lived and studied among those buildings, I had dreams live and die. At the end of my time there, God gave me a new dream – one I would share with my new wife.

It has been a dream of what God could actually do with my (our) life. But it had taken almost 10 years for that dream to come into focus.

And as soon as that dream came into focus God revealed to me a new dream.

What do I want to do with my life? What is it that I want to do in God’s kingdom? I’ve been a pastor for 19 years. I’ve preached nearly 1000 sermons, led over 1500 Bible classes. I’ve taught Luther’s Small Catechism to 19 classes of children. God has used me to touch so many lives. I know I’ve messed up a lot along the way, but I have faith in God that He is the Almighty who can work through my messes.

I remember talking with a friend of mine about 10 years ago and he said that he felt that there was a momentous change coming in his life. He felt that God was going to be doing something in his life very soon. He didn’t know what it was. He didn’t know if it would involve a move away from where he was at the time or not (it did and not very long after that conversation). He only knew that God was going to do something dramatic in his life very soon.

That’s sort of like how I feel now. God has been preparing me for something. He’s brought me to this place in His kingdom. He has used me as His instrument of change. I feel that God is going to do it again – possibly soon but I’m not sure. I can see things working in my life, preparing me for something. Something that God will use to bring transformation to this world. Maybe not the whole world, but maybe the parts of the world that I come into contact with.

In the Bible, these kinds of moments often included God calling a person by name.

“Abraham….”

“Samuel….”

“Ananias….”

And when any of these people were called by God, they all initially responded in the same way.

“Here I am.”

Never, “Who are you?” “Here I am,” takes faith. And that same faith is given to each of us through God’s means of Grace – the Holy Scripture, Holy Baptism – and strengthened through Holy Scripture and Holy Communion.

I believe God has called each one of us to be in this place “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14).

He’s calling you and  I by name.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, let us answer, “Here I am.”

Growing Up

I have spoken with many former church members and not-a-few former Christians.

Many of them have told me that they left the Church or left the Christian faith when they were younger – teenagers or early 20’s. When I ask them what it was that caused them to decide to leave, the same kind of story is told.

They had a question about God, they asked the pastor, and didn’t get the answer they were expecting (or wanted).

Steve Jobs was one such person. I never met or talked with Steve Jobs, but this story is documented in Walter Isaacson’s authorized biography.

The soon-to-be founder of Apple computers rejected Christianity because of one incident he had with a Lutheran pastor. Walter Isaacson tells the story:

“Even though they were not fervent about their [own] faith, Steve Job’s parents wanted him to have a religious upbringing, so they took him to the Lutheran church most Sundays. That came to an end when he was thirteen. In July 1968 Life magazine published a shocking cover showing a pair of starving children in Biafra. Jobs took it to Sunday school and confronted the church’s pastor. ‘If I raise my finger, will God know which one I’m going to raise even before I do it?’

The pastor answered, ‘Yes, God knows everything.’

Jobs then pulled out the Life cover and asked, ‘Well, does God know about this and what’s going to happen to those children?’

‘Steve, I know you don’t understand, but yes, God knows about that.’

Jobs announced that he didn’t want to have anything to do with worshipping such a God, and he never went back to church.” [Walter Isaacson, Steve Jobs, pp 14-15, Simon & Schuster, 2011]

There are many supposedly enlightened people whose rejection of religion rests on just such a flimsy foundation. They are still living as adults on the basis of a rejection of a kindergarten version of the Christian Faith which they probably misunderstood in the first place.

When I was 13, I had some specific ideas about the world, my place in this world, and how I should live my life.

As I am now 36 years removed from those ideas, I certainly don’t live by many – if any – of them.

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways” (1 Corinthians 13:11 ESV).

It is sad if a person continues to think about the Church, God, and life in general, based on something that happened when they were younger.

The Good News is that God still loves each one of us with an unconditional love. He is ready and willing to welcome us back to Himself.

God’s love for us is the same today as it was when we were children. Jesus Christ still forgives all our sins, the Holy Spirit still prompts repentance, and the Father is ready to welcome us into His strong and loving arms.

Come back to church. God loves you and has an amazing plan for your life. Join a Bible study.

And pray for those who, at one time, decided to leave. Pray that the Holy Spirit can use you to help them see that God still loves them and wants them to be a part of a fellowship of believers.

He's Leaving

A few years ago I led a parenting enrichment study at my church. In it, Dr. Kevin Leman taught that toddlers respond to a parent differently that we might expect. For example, if you want a toddler to come to you, you should move away from him. He’ll follow you if you move away. If you moved toward him, he’ll run away.

Of course, it’s one thing to hear someone say that – even if that someone is a parenting expert like Dr. Leman. I did have to try it out before I would really believe it.

And it turned out to be pretty much true!

Now, I’m a long way from being a father to a toddler. Still, I was thinking about this the other day as I was sitting in the gym of my son’s soon-to-be former high school. He was graduating and my wife and I were very proud of him!

This is the view we had of him, though.

We were sitting behind him and the only view of him was this one until he actually received his diploma.

It was fitting that we were sitting behind him, looking at the back of his head. He was literally moving away from us. He just turned 18 years old. He’s heading off to college in August. He’s becoming a man. He’ll always be our son, but he’s also becoming his own man now. My wife and I did the best we could in raising him. But those days are pretty much over now. The choices he makes as he moves away from us are his to make and his to live with.

This picture was taken after my wife was able to make her way to the front of the gym. She had to move in front of him, at least a little bit, to take it and it is a metaphor of our life now. We will have to move, to make strides, to go out of our way to get in front of him now. But we will do what it takes to let him know that he’s never alone. As much as in us lies, we’ll be there for him.

We spent the last 18 years telling our son about Jesus. We took him to church. Studied the Bible and Small Catechism with him. We modeled the best Christian life that we could – a life not lived perfectly but lived in the forgiveness and mercy of God.

Even though he’s going off on his own, only to return to do laundry, get something to eat, or tell us about a life-changing event, he will always be our little boy that we took home from the hospital so long ago. We were more than a little scared then, just as we are now. But my wife and I are also filled with just as much love, more so even, we had then.

For me, what could be a better Father’s day present?

I Love My Church - Part 4

This is based on an article from Hal Seed (accessed here on February 13, 2014).

Hal Seed writes, “A quick read of the book of Acts or the letters in Revelation proves that Jesus loves his church. He died for it, prays for it, lives for it and is going to return for it.

[But] let’s be honest: It’s not easy to love the church. It’s easy to love Jesus. Loving His bride is another story. Churches are filled with frail and fault-riddled people. Every church has a unique personality. All are loved by Jesus, but not all are loved in equal measure by each of His people.”

I love my church. And by “church” I mean “the one holy Christian and apostolic church,” “The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod,” the four churches that I have served as a pastor (Christ Lutheran, White Cloud, MI, St. John Lutheran, Mayville, WI, Redeemer Lutheran, Ontario, CA, and St. Matthew Lutheran, Hawthorn Woods, IL), and the churches of which I was a member before I become a pastor (St. Paul, Round Lake, IL, Good Shepherd, Lake Villa, IL, Messiah, St. Louis, MO, and St. John, Arnold, MO).

I agree, loving Jesus is so much easier than loving His bride, the Church. But just like the love of a spouse in marriage, love of the church is more a choice than a feeling.

Based on Hall Seed’s ten reasons that he loves his church, I have ten reasons that I choose to love Jesus’ bride, the Church. They are in no particular order – this is not a ranked list. This week, reason number four:

4. She is Caring.

Two separate incidents happened to me this past week that touched my heart in a very special way.

The first was that Virginia died. She was a woman in her 90’s. She suffered from acute Alzheimer’s and lived in a care facility for many years. I would visit her just about every other month (while my colleague would do the same, just not the same month). She didn’t know who I was, didn’t know my name or nearly anything about me.

But she did know that I am a pastor. I would wear my “pastors clothes” and when I walked into her room, her eyes would light up and smile would appear on her face. I would read to her from the Bible and we would pray together.

Virginia was - is – a disciple of Jesus strong in the faith. She and Harold were married in the early 1940’s and lived their entire marriage sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ through their lives. Harold has to begin what I can only imagine to be a very difficult task – living his Christian life without Virginia by his side.

I saw Harold last night at dinner. He was still upbeat, smiling, and exuding the joy of a life lived by and for Jesus Christ. His love for his wife is no less diminished this week and never will be, even though it is now different.

The second incident was a phone call I received during lunch. My good and dear friends Jim and Susie called me to wish me a belated happy birthday. I met Jim and Susie 8 years ago when I served as their pastor in Southern California. Jim was retired from the local police department and devoted almost all of his time to our church’s Senior Adult Ministry. We played cards together. We met each week for breakfast and Bible study. I know they prayed for me and my family daily. They are such dear friends to my wife and I. 

During our conversation Jim told me that he was being inducted into his high school’s Hall of Fame for football. His football time went undefeated for three seasons. This was 60 years ago in Northern Michigan. But even though so many decades had passed, I could still hear the joy in his voice as he told me their plans to travel back to Michigan this September.

These two incidents are just two of many evidences of how the Christian Church is “caring.” Harold and Virginia caring for each other and for their fellow Christians and all the people they met through the years. Jim and Susie caring for each other, for me and my family, and the people of their congregation and all those that they met through the years.

When we let Jesus and His love for us have his way with us, this is usually the result: that we will care for others in the same or similar ways. This is one of the “marks” of the Church, as Jesus said in the Gospel of John:

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34-35).

Next week, we’ll look at another reason to love the Church – her diversity.

Jenny’s Story

I’ve been looking for something. It isn’t really something I lost but something I never really had. I don’t want to go into the details, but I grew up in a typical family. Nothing really out of the ordinary. But after I moved out onto my own, I found I really needed “completeness.” Its hard to put into words, actually. There was something missing in my life. Maybe you know, or have known, what I mean. Some people call it a longing, a search for meaning, whatever. All I know is that I’ve been looking for it for a long time.

After a while – I don’t know when, really – I began thinking of it in terms of what I want instead of what I need. Maybe I never actually thought of it as a need. At any rate, I’ve searched for something to fill the want. I’ve searched in places I’m not proud to admit. Love, drugs, drink. I’ve searched in all those places for what I wanted – without really knowing exactly what it was I did want. At first I did find what I wanted in them. They filled me with something I didn’t have as a little girl. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t into hardcore stuff. Drugs were never really my thing. I wasn’t a falling-down drunk, and I only had slept with those I really loved. Pretty average stuff, really.

But after a while, I realized that nothing really satisfied me. I wasn’t really getting what I wanted. I still couldn’t put my finger on what it was, exactly, but these things didn’t get it for me.

It was about this time I started to really learn about Jesus. Now before you tune me out, hear me out. I’m not one of those who tell their story of strife and woe and then I found Jesus and he made me all better and my life is full of joy all the time! I don’t knock those who have experienced it like that, but it isn’t my story.

One of my friends took me to church with her one Sunday. The pastor talked about the hope that can fill a person’s life – a hope only Jesus can give. There was no flash from heaven, no fire in my belly from a massive conversion experience. But this hope from Jesus intrigued me. I went back the next week and he talked about it again. I kept going, rarely missing. What I was hearing was comforting. I heard about faith and hope and love. I heard that Jesus died and rose from the dead for me. That all my sins were forgiven. That all my longings would be satisfied in Jesus. The pastor didn’t present this as if it was some one-time, instantaneous solution, either. Jesus’ hope and peace and grace were life-long gifts. I realized that this was what I wanted. I was searching in all the wrong places. I was searching for the wrong things. It wasn’t about what I wanted but rather what I needed. Somehow Jesus knew and He gave it to me.

Is everything perfect now? It sure would be great to tell you it is, but it isn’t. Life is better, though. I have a satisfying relationship with Jesus and brothers and sisters in the faith at my church. Jesus makes the difference because He took my sins away. And He continues to take my sins away as He fills my need. My life isn’t perfect (really, what is in this world?) but it is more fulfilling with Jesus as the center of it.

The Day that Changed the World

Please pray with me.

Holy and almighty God, we humbly come before your throne of grace with repentant hearts. Cleanse us with the blood of Jesus that He shed on the cross – an awesome event that we remember this day. In this very hour Jesus hung on the cross, carrying our sin. The world was never the same after that day so long ago.

It is my prayer that we will once again be fundamentally changed by the death of Jesus Christ. Send your Holy Spirit to us in such measure that this day of days will once again bring change into our world.

In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

Good Friday, the day that Jesus Christ died on the cross, is a day that changed the world forever.

It is not the only day that changed the world, however.

There have been many days that have changed the world.

The day that the “New World” was discovered – whether it was Christopher Columbus, Leif Ericson, or someone else. No matter who “discovered” it first, that North and South America were “found” (not that they were ever lost) changed the world. Today North America – the United States, specifically, is a, if not the, world power in the world. And South America is quickly coming into its own – being the birth home of the present Bishop of Rome – the first time such a man was elected from the Americas.

Another day that changed the world was when it was discovered that the sun did not, in fact, revolve around the earth. Polish scientist and priest Copernicus is credited with this discovery which led to our modern day science and technology.

Which led to many world changing days, including July 16, 1945 – the day the first atomic bomb was detonated. This day changed the world forever – leading to the end of World War II and the space race that culminated with landing a man on the moon in 1969.

Which might possibly lead to another world-changing day – the day humans make first contact with life from another planet or star.

But none of these or any other world-changing day can hold a candle to the day that Jesus of Nazareth died on a Roman cross nearly 2000 years ago.

Before I talk about why Good Friday is a day like no other day that changed the world, I need to make sure you hear about exactly what happened on the first Good Friday.

Simply put, Good Friday is the day we remember that God who became man died by crucifixion. Jesus of Nazareth was not just some prophet or preacher in first century Palestine. He was born of a woman – Mary – but was conceived by the Holy Spirit. He is the Son of God, the 2^nd Person of the Trinity. He is “God Incarnate” – True and Fully God while at the same time True and Fully Man.

I cannot prove this “empirically” or “scientifically.” I can only point to what I believe to be overwhelming evidence: The Bible; the history of first, second and third century followers of Jesus who staked their very lives on the fact that Jesus Christ was both God and Man who died on the cross; and the billions of followers who live lives of faith in Jesus Christ today and have been for nearly 2000 years.

Good Friday was the day that Jesus – the God-Man – died by crucifixion. On the face of it, it would appear to be a mistake added to a political vendetta by religious leaders of the day added to the cowardice or ineffectiveness of the Roman governor.

But it was not. This day that changed the world forever was something else entirely.

As Jesus hung on the cross – at the end of six hours of agony – we are told this, from John’s Gospel:

When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. – John 19:30

What, exactly, was “finished”? “In Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them” (2 Cor. 5:19). All that was needed to forgive our sins was finished by Jesus on Good Friday.

St. Paul put it this way, “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

On Good Friday, on this day that changed the world, your sins were forgiven.

All of them.

Do you believe it?

Many people have a hard time believing this. They want to believe that their sins are forgiven, but they just can’t get past the seemingly lack of any evidence that their sins actually are forgiven. The seemingly lack of evidence that Jesus Christ actually died for their sins and rose from the dead.

It fact, it seems to make more sense to not believe it.

Certainly there is more evidence that Good Friday and all that Jesus did on that day, didn’t happen, right?

May I remind you that there was more evidence that the world was flat – until Leif Ericson, Christopher Columbus and many others did not sail off the end of the world.

There was also more evidence that the sun moved in the sky – from east to west – than there was that the earth actually orbited the sun – that is until Copernicus, Kepler and Galileo proved otherwise.

Yet, in the 2000 years since the first Good Friday, there has never been any credible evidence to suggest that Jesus Christ did not die for the sins of the world. If fact, the evidence still powerfully suggests that Jesus is, indeed, the Son of God who died and rose again to reconcile the world to God.

The most powerful evidence, to me, is the fact that this day that changed the world still changes people – billions of people today.

The death of Jesus changes us. Remember, Jesus’ death was not an accident or an act of vengeance or cowardice. It was an act of love. God’s love for you and for me.

You know the Bible passages that speak of this:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8

This instrument of execution was forever changed on the day that changed the world into a symbol of the greatest love there has ever been or will ever be.

This day that changed the world is the day to remember:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. – 2 Corinthians 5:17

But why? And what is the big deal with changing the world, anyway? I think you will all agree with me that something in this world needs to change.

The truth is that the world is changing every day. Most of the time, not for the better either. In fact, the only unchanging constant is that there is change!

This world was once perfect. But sin changed all that, as you well know. Death got a death-grip on us and will not let us go unless something changes.

But that change will not come from within ourselves. That change will not come from a world leader. That change will not come from a court-ruling.

No, the only thing that will change death’s grip on us is the death of death itself. When Jesus died on the cross, our very lives where changed. The death of Jesus has freed us from the bondage of sin, death, and the power of the devil.

The death of Jesus on the cross made the most powerful change this world has ever seen. His death bought your heart back from death. His death gives you new life.

Now, what are you going to do with that life? Look to the cross to see how far God went to give you a new heart, a new life!

On my white board are these words, “How far will God go to get your attention? All the way to a Roman cross and a borrowed tomb.”

Jesus Christ died for you. Jesus Christ gave up His life to give you your life.

Don’t waste His death! Leave this sanctuary in a few minutes and live the life Jesus died to give you!

Love others as God loves! Serve others as Jesus serves!

Reach out to the person who is hurting. Lift up the person who is downtrodden. Guide the person who is lost.

At the end of the very powerful movie “Saving Private Ryan” Tom Hanks’ character, Captain Miller, tells Private Ryan – after so many men died in order to return him home safely to his family, “Earn this.”

Robert Rodat – the writer of the screenplay – meant, I think, “Ryan, don’t waste these men’s efforts and lives in order to save you. Live a life worthy of being saved. Make it your life’s goal and purpose to make a difference in the lives of everyone you meet.” But, of course, that’s too wordy! “Earn this!” sounds so much better!

Of course you can’t earn this (pointing at the cross). You can’t earn salvation. Like Captain Miller and all the other men who died to save Private Ryan, Jesus died before you could do anything to earn it.

St. Paul says it best, “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

This is the day – Good Friday – to remember to live a life with the goal and purpose of making a difference in the lives of everyone you meet!

Jesus said, in the Gospel reading from last night, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” (John 13: 34).

That’s what Good Friday is for. That’s what we remember of this day that changed the world.

May God’s love for you in Christ Jesus, who died for you on Good Friday, change you forever to love and live for Him. Amen.

No One Gets Out Alive

Today is Ash Wednesday - a reminder that “dust you are and to dust you shall return.”

This reminder will be in the form a little cross of ash on the forehead. The palm branches and leaves that ended the Church Season of Lent last year have been burned to ash and are now used to begin this year’s Church Season of Lent.

This dust – and all dust – reminds us that we are mortal. We will die someday. Well, probably. I mean, Jesus could come back before we die – and then there will be no more death for those who believe in Him as savior.

But the reality that I live today is that I will not get out of this life alive. And that’s ok, because for me, death is not the end. Jesus’ death was the end of my death. When my body ceases to live – when my heart stops beating and my brain stops waving – my eyes will close to this world and open to see Jesus. I will see – and live in - the new heaven and new earth. I will be with all those who fell asleep in Jesus.

In the mean time, I have been given a promise of life from Jesus Christ. He warned that “the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy.” But Jesus also promised us, “But I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10 ESV)

The ashes remind me that this life is not all there is. There is more to have, more to come.

The whole Season of Lent is a microcosm of life for the disciple of Jesus. We begin with a reminder of our mortality (and a great reminder to teenagers and young adults that we are only immortal for a limited time).

Then we quickly move on to a reminder that in this world we will face temptation. Many temptations, in fact, but they all come down to the same thing. We will be tempted by the devil (yes, he really exists. Jesus faced him down in the wilderness – recorded in Matthew 4). We will be tempted by the devil to question who we are and whose we are.

When the devil tempted Jesus he started two of the three temptations with the same words, “If you are the Son of God.” Right away, the devil was trying to cause doubt to rise in Jesus’ mind that He (Jesus) was who God said He was. A little over a month before this temptation, Jesus was baptized and heard the words from His Heavenly Father, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” But Jesus hadn’t had anything to eat since then. He was tired, hungry, exhausted to the point of collapse (as I’m sure I would be if I hadn’t eaten for 40 days).

That’s when the devil strikes. When we are riding emotional highs and also at the point of exhaustion, the devil will tempt us so that we try to convince ourselves that we are not really a child of God, we are not saved, we are not worthy of God’s love, and on and on.

But Jesus didn’t give in to this temptation of the devil. The weapon Jesus used to fight off this temptation He gives to us.

“It is written….”

The Word of God. The Sword of the Spirit. This is the ultimate – and only – weapon we have to fight the temptation of the devil.

Pick up your sword, and get ready to fight … and win ... and live!

Thanksgiving Forgiveness

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” – Matthew 18:15

According to Ken Sande, founder of Peacemakers Ministries, there are four promises one makes that involve real forgiving:

1. I won’t brood over this incident.
2. I won’t dwell on this incident, bringing it up again to use it against you.
3. I won’t talk to others about this incident.
4. I won’t allow this incident to create distance between us or hinder our relationship.

Does your family have an “incident” that keeps being brought up year after year or at more frequent family gatherings? For example, Uncle Ervin getting drunk and violent at the family picnic in the summer of 1967. Or cousin Suzanne being confronted by her husband at the family Christmas party in 1978. These incidents can become almost legendary, taking on the status of a “Hatfield-McCoy” type of legend.

But when they are continually brought up again and again for whatever reasons, they take on a life of their own. They also cripple any healing that can and must happen.

Some of the things we do or say do get out in the open. The consequences of that are enormous. But if we help that along by talking to others about wrongs that happen to us, we tear apart the healing process.

It’s natural to want to tell someone else when we’ve been hurt. We want to have someone else bear our burden with us. While there are circumstances where this is necessary and helpful, not everything should be shared. It could hurt both you and the person who has wronged you.

That’s why Jesus says that the first step in the forgiving process is to “go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.”

Jesus wouldn’t have said it if He wasn’t willing to model forgiving in this way. And so He did. His death on the cross was personal. It was between Him and you. Your sin separated you from God. But God loved you so much that He sent Jesus to restore you with His death and resurrection.

This salvation is also your power to forgive others. As God has forgiven you in Jesus Christ, so you can also forgive others when they sin against you. Your relationship can be restored through the power of the Gospel.

Keep that in mind when your family gets together this day to celebrate Thanksgiving!

Saint? Sinner? Both?

I’ve been having an ongoing argument  discussion with a friend and brother in Christ.

It is about being “sanctified.”

The gist of the argument  discussion is:

Him: We are sanctified. We’re perfect right now! God forgave our sins!

His key Bible verse is “And by that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all” (Hebrews 10:10 ESV).

Me: We’re in process of being made perfect. A process that was started in our Baptism and will be complete when we go to heaven.

I have two key Bible verses (not that having twice as many as his is better – that’s not my point):

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but  press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own” (Philippians 3:12 ESV).

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin” (Romans 7:15-25 ESV).

There is a Latin phrase – simul justus et peccator - which loosely translated means “At the same time saint and sinner.”

Even though Christ died and rose again to forgive my sins and give me eternal life, I still have flesh and blood. I am forgiven but I am not perfect. I still sin yet am going to heaven because of my faith in Christ.

It is hard to wrap my head around that, as it is for my friend that I am having this discussion with. I’m saved. I sin. I’m forgiven.

I don’t want to sin anymore, but I’m right there with St. Paul.

I know that I shouldn’t sin. I even know how I can not sin – do what God wants me to do.

But I’m kind of like a major league baseball player. He knows how to hit a ball but does it less than 40% of the time he tries. I suspect my not-sinning average is below that, but hopefully you get my drift.

So I keep on trying. I live, breath, pray, repent, and keep at this thing called my Christian life.

Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Baggage

Long before the "checked baggage wars" erupted a couple of years ago, I've been battling against some checked baggage fees of my own.

In the spring of 1995 I was asked by my best-friend-from-high-school to marry him.

No, not that way. I was soon-to-be ordained and he wanted me to officiate his wedding. I met with him and his fiance and we began to plan my part in their wedding.

I owe a lot to this man. He was my friend in high school when I really needed a friend. He shared with me his locker when I really needed one (my own locker's combination was known to some bullies and I had lost quite a bit of stuff). We shared a passion of computers at a time when Steve Jobs and Bill Gates were just getting their start. He tutored me to a passing grade in math.

At first I was very happy that he was getting married and felt great that he asked me to do the wedding.
Soon after meeting him and his fiance, I received a note from them with some requests about the wedding itself.

Everything was fine until I reached the stipulation that I do not mention God or Jesus. The family he was marrying into were atheists and he didn't want me to offend them.

Here I was, about to be ordained. I was about to start serving a Lutheran church in Michigan. My best friend was getting married. I couldn't mention Jesus.

What was I going to do?

I am ashamed to tell you that I declined to do the wedding, sort of at the last minute. It was about a month before the wedding. I told them I had become unavailable. I was going to be visiting my new congregation for the first time the weekend of their wedding.

I could have changed the date of my visit. But I didn't know what to do about the stipulation. I panicked. I told them I couldn't do it.

And I haven't talked to him in 16 years.

I still wake up in the middle of the night, every now and then, thinking about this. About what I did to brake our relationship. How do I fix it?

I've written him a couple of times, apologizing to him. Seeking his forgiveness.
But I hurt him too much. I can't blame him for closing that part of his past and moving on with his life.
And for the most part, I can live my life in peace and joy, too.

For the most part.

Still, on occasion, I think about it. I get a sinking feeling in my gut. I shake make head. I spiritually palm-slap my forehead.

I carry this baggage around with me. Sometimes I set it aside, move it to the basement or the storage locker I keep in the back of my brain.

Then I'll see something or hear something and I'll drag that particular piece of baggage out.

I don't know how to stop paying this baggage handling fee. I know I'm forgiven by Christ. I live in that forgiveness every single day of my life.

Thankfully, I have a good friend who listens and prays with me about all of this and more.

Someday I'll talk to my friend again. I hope we'll be able to restore our relationship.

Someday.