How Do You Hear Me?

I deal with “words” in almost everything I do. I write sermons. I write devotions. I write articles for blogs. I speak, preach, and even sing every now and then.

I still find myself dismayed or even angry when what I say or write isn’t received as I intended it to be heard or read.

It is a reminder to me that communicating is a “two-way street.” Even when I’m writing a blog post or preaching a sermon, I should not think of it as a monologue. It is a dialogue – because it involves at least two people, me and the person or persons who hear (or read) me.

I strive to be thankful when that communication actually becomes a dialogue where we speak to each other. 

Even if the response is negative.

For the response may be negative or positive, as you might expect. However, it also may be positive and I receive it as negative. That’s when I have to be reminded of a simple, little formula I came up with a few weeks ago for a devotion that I shared with some friends.

It was about emails and text messages, but it is relevant for any communication.

Send with the best intention.

Receive with the best construction.

At the heart of all communication is exactly that – the heart. What is in my heart develops into my communication. If I am loving God and loving my neighbor, then what I say or write will be “sent” with the best of intention. This is living the truth of “Christ who lives in me.”

Then I have to be reminded that after I say or write “with the best intention” I cannot control how what I say or write is received. I pray that it will be received with the best construction, but I know this doesn’t always happen. And I simply can’t control that!

The relationship I have with the person hearing or reading me can go a long way to being received with the best construction – and that will help me to put what I want to say in a proper context. But the stark truth is that I simply cannot control how what I say is received.

When I’m feeling particularly hurt or scared, the temptation will be to stop communicating. Just shut up and shut down. That way no one can take what I say the wrong way. No one gets hurt.

But that isn’t true either. I’m hurt – because I cannot communicate what I want to say. Others may get hurt – because they won’t hear what God wants them to hear (speaking as a preacher of the Gospel here).

I hope you will read this with the best construction, because I really am writing it with the best intention.

Let me know, please?

What's Your Story?

I’m having trouble staying on task lately.

I’ve gone the route of making excuses – I’m very busy, I have a full-time ministry at a congregation with over a 1000 souls, I have a wife of nearly 23 years and 3 sons (oldest of which is a senior in high school, youngest of which will be a freshman in high school this fall, and the middle son who has epilepsy).

Last week I fell and broke my arm. That become another seemingly valid excuse for not getting things done.

Before that I had a bout with the flu.

Before that were the Advent and Christmas seasons – a traditionally busy time of year for a preacher.

But so what? Lots of people have that kind of life or similar and seem to get a lot more done than I do.

It occurs to me that this is a story of my life. It isn’t the story but a story. And it is one that I’ve been telling myself for a long time.

But I am taking deliberate steps to change this story.

Yes, I’m busy. But instead of that being a crippling excuse not to do anything in an excellent way (see Excellent – a devotion where I wrote about this) I choose to see it as an opportunity that God has given me to make a difference in this world!

Yes, I was injured. But instead of that being a crippling excuse not to do anything in an excellent way, I choose to see it as a reminder that I am fragile and need to take care of myself, take time to rest and recuperate regularly, and that my life is an amazing adventure given to me by God!

I mentioned the story of my life – and that is what I was thinking about as I started this devotion.

The story of my life is what God has and is doing in my life. God has saved me from sin, death, and the power of the devil. God did this by ransoming me – buying me back – through the birth, life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ.

What God is doing in my life right now is nothing short of amazing. And I don’t say that as a conceited jerk. God has allowed me to meet, fall in love, and continue to be more in love every day with a beautiful woman. This August will be our 23rd anniversary.  God has entrusted to us three young men – Eddie, Kurt & Mark. That is mind-boggling humbling to consider! 18 years ago my wife Nancy and I were awaiting the birth of our first-born. Every day since has been an incredible adventure of love and humility.

Then there are the other parts of my life that God has called me to and been directing. The pastoral ministry (going on 19 years), Christian men’s ministry (10th anniversary), and day-to-day ministry of sharing the Gospel with others through various activities at my church and elsewhere.

That’s the story of my life – and God’s is the author and has the starring role. When I start focusing on other stories about my life – by putting myself in the starring role – that’s when I get bogged down with busyness and weariness.

I’m changing my story.

How about you?

A Father and a Son

Does it feel like Christmas?

I was talking with several people this past week about this and a few of them mentioned that it doesn’t feel like Christmas to them.

They are not where they would like to be or are usually at Christmas time.

The family is all grown up and live far away some as far away as heaven.

Here (Chicagoland), there’s no white Christmas this year.

Some were so busy that Christmas just seemed to pass them by or got lost in all the busyness.

So, does it feel like Christmas to you?

The question behind that question is what is Christmas supposed to feel like?

I’ve come to the realization that all my feelings of what Christmas is supposed to feel like are mostly transitory. The presents, the white Christmas, the wonder and amazement in a small child’s eyes – these are all momentary, for me any way, of what Christmas is supposed to feel like.

You see, there were some years there are no presents, no white Christmas, and, of course, children do grow up. These feelings are fleeting and ephemeral. In other words, they don’t last.

That is why I chose to base this Christmas message on a somewhat unusual Scripture passage – Hebrews chapter 1.

Even before Jesus Christ was born, there was a Christmas Anticipation. It wasn’t based on a snowfall or anything fleeting like that.

¹Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets.

God had been speaking to “our fathers” for a long time about a coming savior.

The savior would be an offspring of Eve Genesis 3:15

The savior would be a descendent of Abraham Genesis 12:3 and 18:18

The savior would come from the Israelite tribe of Judah Genesis 49:10

The savior would be a prophet like Moses Deuteronomy 18:15-19

The savior would be the Son of God Psalm 2:7

The savior would be born of a virgin Isaiah 7:14

The savior would be born in Bethlehem Micah 5:2

The savior would save his people from their sins Isaiah 53

These were all promises made to our fathers – our fore-fathers, actually. And it was these promises that formed their anticipation of Christmas.

These promises, these prophecies, were handed down from father to child through thousands of years and hundreds of generations.

These promises were most important when so many fathers and children were in exile from their homeland. That anticipation takes the form of a beloved Christmas carol for us today.

O come, O come, Emmanuel,

And ransom captive Israel,

That mourns in lonely exile here

Until the Son of God appear.

Anticipation for something that never happens is a cruel punishment. Our God is not cruel. He loves us with an everlasting love. One of the most awesome proofs of that love is that Christmas moved from anticipation to actuality.

¹Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets

² but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. 

Then, God spoke to our fathers. Now, God speaks to us by His Son. Jesus Christ speaks to us through words and action. Jesus speaks to us out of His humanity. Jesus was born.

On Christmas.

He became a man. He was the Son of God. And through His Son, God the Father speaks to us.

Christmas anticipation is culminated in Christmas actuality. But there are so many who are skeptical, at best, of any kind of Christmas authenticity.

Christmas is authentic as a father’s love. Ah, but that’s the problem, isn’t it? So many people today are missing their father’s love. Some call it a “father wound.” Some just call it reality today – with 17.8 million children not having a father at home. It’s not hard to look at the “Father’s Love at Christmas” with cynicism.

I can appreciate that. But there is a Father’s love that can be trusted, can be counted on, and that knows no bounds. In fact, it was the Son’s mission to convey that Father’s love to us.

Jesus was born on Christmas. And though many see today as the end of a long season of preparations, presents, and provisions, today is really just the beginning! It was the beginning of Jesus’ mission to bring us the message of God the Father’s love and it was the beginning of Jesus’ mission to bring us back to God the Father.

Today we mark the birth of Jesus Christ – who was born to be our substitute. Our sin, inherited from Adam and Eve and the sin we’ve committed during our lives, was paid for by Jesus Christ. Jesus lived the perfect life that we could not live. Jesus Christ then died on the cross to forgive our sin. He rose from the dead to give us new life (now and when we, too, will rise from the dead), and then Jesus’ mission was completed when He ascended into heaven with the promise that He will return one day to bring us to heaven, too.

Mission complete. Or very nearly so.

Until Jesus comes back, there’s something we have to do, now that we are saved from our sins. Let me, for a moment, speak directly to you fathers today.

Dads, this day can be a new day for you. You have what may be an historic opportunity. You could change history today. Think of it as a Christmas Act…

from a father to a child.

Dads, take the opportunity of having your children around you this day to first, pray for them. And second, tell them you love them and that God loves them through Jesus Christ.

I know some of you will feel uncomfortable because you feel you don’t know how to do that. I know how you feel. That’s why I lead a men’s Bible study each week; to learn more about God’s love for us, how to be men after his own heart, and how to share that with our kids. You can join us – we meet again Thursday, January 5 or Saturday, January 7.

But let me tell you a story about how a dad did this and made a huge impact on America.

“To my knowledge, no biographies have been written about the life of George McCluskey. But he was a man who decided to make a shrewd investment. As he married and started a family, he decided to invest one hour a day in prayer for his children. You see, he wanted his kids to follow Christ and to someday establish their own homes where Christ was honored. After a time, he decided to expand his prayers to include not only his children, but their children, and the children after them. Every day between 11 a.m. and noon, he would pray for the next three generations.

“As the years went by, his two daughters committed their lives to Christ and married men who went into full-time ministry. The two couples produced four girls and one boy. Each of the girls married a minister and the boy became a pastor. The first two children born to this generation were both boys. Upon graduation from high school, the two cousins chose the same college and became roommates. During their sophomore year, one of the boys decided to go into the ministry as well. The other didn’t. He knew the family history and undoubtedly felt some pressure to continue the family legacy by going into the ministry himself, but he chose not to. In a manner of speaking, this young man became the black sheep of the family. He was the first one in four generations not to go into full-time Christian ministry.

“He decided to pursue his interest in psychology and, over the years, met with success. After earning his doctorate, he wrote a book for parents that became a best-seller. He then wrote another and another, all best-sellers. Eventually he started a radio program that is now heard on more than a thousand stations each day. The black sheep’s name? James Dobson, without a doubt the most influential and significant leader of the pro-family movement in America. His ministry is the direct result of the prayers of a man who lived four generations ago.” (Steve Farrar, Point Man, pages 154-55)

This day – Christmas Day – is not just a birthday of a baby born 2000 years ago. It marks an event that changed the history of the world. It is also a day that can change your life.

Moving from anticipation, to actuality, to authenticity – Christmas is a day that a Father loved, a Son was born, and you are saved. It is also a day that you are put in a position to change the lives of a generation of children – change them with the Authentic Christmas Message.

Daddy's Heroes - My Review

I am the father of three sons. I started reading to my oldest son at bedtime when he was just an infant. I started with “Good Night Moon” and that became a tradition with him until he was old enough to request new stories.

As his brothers joined him, I’ve read many different kinds of books. From classic Science Fiction (my favorite growing up), to fantasy, to classic literature (King Arthur, Treasure Island, etc.).

As time went on, it became a challenge to find books that keep my boys’ (now quickly becoming young men) interest.

Tom Garcia had the same challenges with his son. That’s why he decided to write a series he calls “Daddy’s Heroes.”

Tom’s publisher was kind enough to send me one of his books to review – “The 2004 Red Sox: The Curse is Broken.”

Written by Tom Garcia and Karun Naga it also features the wonderful illustrations by Jenifer J. Donnelly. It tells the story of the improbable 2004 playoff run of the Boston Red Sox at a level young children can follow and enjoy.

It also includes – at the end – the box scores for each of the games of the ALCS and World Series for mom and dad to enjoy.

I highly recommend Daddy’s Heroes to any mom or dad that wants to read – or start to read – to their children at a young age.

You can find out more and order books for Daddy’s Heroes at the Daddy’s Heroes website here.