The Experience of Pain

“And they all lived happily ever after.”

That’s a good ending to a good story.

But is it true?

I think it is, for the most part. I think it is based on what we mean by “happily.”

For a Christian, it might mean that heaven is awaiting us. It might mean that we will live forever with Christ in paradise. It might mean that we live – in this life – with the joy of the presence of God in our life.

I’ve heard from several people that have gone through sickness or injury about how God got them through, calmed their hearts and minds. How they had a sense of peace because they could feel the presence of God with them.

But I’ve come to realize that being a Christian doesn’t mean that this kind of happiness comes automatically. Sometimes it works out that God changes your circumstances to give you happiness. But sometimes, God changes your perception of happiness to fit the circumstances you find yourself in.

I think that’s what has happened to Craig.

Craig loves to climb. He climbs with ropes carabiners, and he climbs with just his hands and feet (bouldering). He’s also really, really good at climbing – as is his wife, Cyndy and their two children.

One day Craig was climbing with a friend in Colorado and, through a misunderstanding and miscommunication, he ended up falling.

Statistics tell the story – that if a person falls 10 feet, they have a 10% chance of dying, and if they fall 20 feet they have a 20% chance of dying.

Craig fell 100 feet. Statistics tend to not lie.

But Craig did not die. He fell straight down, starting out horizontal, but about half-way down he hit a tree branch and it turned him vertical. He hit the ground practically standing straight up. He landed on his feet at nearly 55 miles per hour.

His story is told in “After the Fall” – which he wrote with Bill Romanelli.

Craig is honest about his Christian faith and where he was in his relationship with God before and after the accident.

Craig says, “I thought about how I had worked hard to fit God into my life where it was most convenient for me, and wherever there was a conflict it was as if God was just the kid I played with because he had cool toys. I saw how I had always put my faith and trust into my own body, and the fall had taken away the one thing I had put the most stock in, myself” (After the Fall, page 51).

During his recovery and rehab, Craig documents how sometimes he felt that God wasn’t there. I’ve heard this called the “Silence of Heaven” and I know from experience that it happens. Not that God isn’t there, but sometimes He’s not saying anything. I wrote about this in what I called “The Silence of Heaven.”

Craig says it this way, “But as the weeks went on [after leaving the hospital and was going through rehab], the apparent absence of God became like a huge hole. I kept thinking God would keep guiding me, and He wasn’t. Where I should have seen his hand at work all around me, instead almost every experience was a muddled collage of good and bad, as if joy and despair were waging war inside me, and to the victor would go my spirits” (After the Fall, page 80).

This is what Craig is teaching me: that while God is always in my life, and is always there through good times and bad, it doesn’t mean that I’m going to have a life that is all “sugar plums and lollipops.” Craig has taught me that life will have pain. God in my life doesn’t change that. But God in my life does change how I deal with the pain.

It helps me to remember this: because Jesus endured pain – the pain of the cross and death itself – I can deal with pain, too. Jesus forgives me all my sin and restores true life to me. Jesus restores the life God intended for me to have. In doing this, Jesus never promised that I wouldn’t have pain or trouble or disappointment. He promises that I will have Him! And He promises that He’s preparing a place where all that stuff will never be experienced again – heaven.

Thank you, Craig, for reminding me of this!

True Man - Wild Man

I recently completed leading a group of four men on a journey of discovery. We became a band of brothers that together explored who God is and who God made us to be.

We all read (and for me, it was the third time reading) the book "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge.

I've used quite a bit of material from John Eldredge and Ransomed Heart Ministries. I've also received a bit of criticism for doing so.

One of the criticisms that that John Eldredge receives about “Wild at Heart” is his perceived “boxing” of men – putting men in the box of the wilderness. That the only way a man can really be happy and be a real man is for him to be out in the wild. I don’t agree with this criticism and I’ll tell you why in a moment, but first let’s look at Eldredge’s premise.

Genesis 2:5-9
When no bush of the field was yet in the land and no small plant of the field had yet sprung up—for the LORD God had not caused it to rain on the land, and there was no man to work the ground, and a mist was going up from the land and was watering the whole face of the ground—then the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. And the LORD God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed. (emphasis added)

Again, God says in verse 15:
The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. (emphasis added)

God created Adam in the wilderness and then brought him into the garden. Adam's first experience with 

life is out in the wilderness, in the wild with God.

Craig Demartino at the True Men in the Mountains Advance 2008

The point here is that man feels at home with his Father out in the wilderness as well (if not more so) as in the place of work (the garden). God gave us both, as men. Both are safe, both are wild but one more so than the other.

I contend that the wild can be anywhere. The criticism of Eldredge is that a man can only be really a man when he is out in the mountains, hiking, camping, fly-fishing, hunting, etc.

But the wild can be anywhere that isn’t work. Work is ok, there’s nothing wrong with work and a man can be a man at work – after all, God gave us work to do.

But it is in the wild that we feel most at home with our Father. These are the places where we can have adventure and excitement; the places where we can dare to dream; the places where we can push ourselves to the limit and beyond.

Think about it for a moment. What kind of movies appeal to men?

Adventure.
Science Fiction.

Action.

Have you ever asked yourself why this is so? The answer is because our Father, who made us in such a way as to enjoy adventure, excitement and action, writes our true story in just that way!

The wild can be:

A little-known and less-visited stretch of river where rainbow trout grow as long as your arm and hit only on a handful of flies that are know by even less fly-fisherman.

The backcountry that's a 26 mile drive to the trailhead, then another 3 miles of hiking to get to a campsite.

The snow-capped mountains of the Rockies or, better yet, the Himilayas.

But the wild can also be:

Water Street in downtown Milwaukee

Michigan Avenue in Chicago.

Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles.

Lower Alabama Street in Atlanta.

The wild is where our lives began and it is in the wild that our boyhood begins.

In the wild we hear and ask our first questions. The ultimate question every person has is “Am I loved.” Man, woman, boy, girl – doesn’t matter. This question is no respecter of age or gender.

In boyhood this question needs to be answered and answered correctly if a man is going to live the life that God intended for him to live.

There are times when a boy is not loved as a child. Neglect, abuse, these are ways that answer that question negatively. A man who has that kind of boyhood has the odds stacked against him. But all hope is not lost.

For we all have a Father who loves us. A Father who loves us perfectly. A Father who sent His Son to be our Brother.

Next week, I'll explore further what this means.