Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I could do something else.
Don’t try to read into that some deep-rooted psychological flaw, please. What I mean is, I sometimes sit here listening to Brian Eno music (if you never heard of him, google him), and wonder how my life would be different if I had the time and cash to sit at the Chicago lakefront with an iPad and just contemplate life while scrolling through some interesting blogs and writing stuff of my own.
Or maybe what it would be like to spend a week in a cabin in the Rocky Mountains, getting up early and enjoying a cup of coffee in the crisp, autumn air.
It isn’t that I don’t like what I’m doing, and able to do, now. I really do. I get to sit in my office overlooking very quiet neighbors on crisp autumn mornings with pretty decent coffee (if I do say so myself). I have a wonderful house to live in with a great family (my wife and three sons).
I appreciate doing this, I really do. But I also spend some time daydreaming about doing other things.
I guess (well, really the word I should use is “hope” instead of “guess”) that it is a sign of maturity that while I still daydream like a 9-year-old, I don’t wish my life was different. I don’t want my life to be any different than it is now. Ok, maybe a little more spending money would be nice. But really, my life is pretty wonderful the way it is right now. I’ve been married a good amount of time (twenty years) and have three sons I love very much. What’s more, I love being around them a whole lot, too.
As the song goes, “who could ask for anything more?”
But it isn’t a sin to actually ask for anything more. It isn’t that I’m not grateful. I really am. Thank you, God, for giving me such wonderful gifts! Your love for me in Jesus Christ has really blessed me in some pretty cool ways! And I’m not really asking for more. I’m content. Really, I am.
I’m just wondering what it might be like.